I'll have the waiter with a side of creepy

One of the first things said to me at work tonight was, "Go check out 306, he's so cute." At another point in the evening I found myself asking a coworker, "Did you see blue shirt by the host stand? Hurry before he gets seated." There's a funny sexual tension that always hangs around a restaurant. As employees we know that sex sells and some of us act accordingly. Some employees know just how to wear that uniform in such a way that you feel compelled to throw a few extra dollars into the tip. Working for a corporate restaurant in an issued uniform, there's less room to play. When serving on our patio however, we are allowed to wear any black shirt we like, and as such this station at times looks more like a runway show of tightly fitted, low cut black shirts that are more flattering thant the corporate smock. Ask any bartender especially if they are aware of flirting with the customers as a means to earning a better tip. Everyone enjoys it. It's nice to receive a compliment or some special attention. It can even be fun to engage in a bit of cheeky conversation with the server. As long as no one becomes too overbearing it can be a fun game to engage in some harmless flirtation with the server...on TWO CONDITIONS.

You may not proposition the server, hit on the server, or undress them with your eyes if you plan on leaving anything less than 20%. And under no circumstances is it okay to joke or imply that the tip is dependent on the server playing back.

The minute we begin feigning an attraction or hitting on you out of some sense of obligation is the minute we become whores. You're no longer paying us to bring your food and drink, you're paying us to stroke your ego with some verbal fluffing. In an informal survey of my coworkers I was hard pressed to find more than a few that have never been propostioned by a guest. And further, I was shocked at the number of servers who have been invited home for a threesome! Apparantly there are times that the customer is looking for something not on the menu. One of my favorites was the gentleman who left me his card with the name of his hotel and room number written on it. He also the took the time to circle the prefix before his name: Dr. I was tempted to show up with fifteen of my coworkers and show him how waiters party when they get off work. Another time a guest started hitting on me while I was using the urinal. He continued to talk with me while I zipped up, washed my hands and dried them. I assured him that while I do like to travel I don't plan on visiting St. Louis anytime soon, no I don't know what time I get off, and that I would be more than happy to answer any of his questions back at the table. When it came time to deliver the bill to his table he requested separate checks and wrote a message, including a ;), next to his 10% tip. That's just plain tacky. If you're bold enough to assume that the waiter is going to sleep with you, you've pretty much put it out there that the waiter is a bit of a whore. In doing so, please also assume that we are of the highest class and as such require you to tip accordingly.

One of my coworkers once had a guest by her a bottle of champaign to take home and invited her to join him in his hotel room the following evening for some more. Another coworker's table told her as they were leaving, "please read the comment card. You were wonderful." The comment card read, "Call us, we'd love to see you outside of work ;)" Again with that winky face! It's awfully silly and naughty with that winky face. What's a little threesome at the end of the shift? All in a day's work! And I've heard all kinds of propositions used on my coworkers. "I'd sure like to dip you in that chocolate sauce...why don' you just have one drink with us...you like to eat beef?" For the that last one, remember that I work in a steak house and when said with the right tone of voice it becomes one of the creepiest pickup lines I've heard yet.

I could go on forever about the sexual character of a restaurant so I'm going to call it a night here. And if anyone reading this plans to proposition a server in the near future please remember to tip accordingly, but not so much so that it appears you are trying to buy it.