Hey big spender

This evening was an exceptionally special one. I'm not feeling so hot as I am coming down with something nasty. The massive amounts of congestion in my head helped to me hear about half of what people said to me and it was difficult to project over the noise of the crowded dining room, thanks to the cough that kept me up all night. This is one of those unfortunate waiter moments. I'm always telling people how much I love making money and having a flexible schedule and never working overtime, etc. etc. And it's true! There are a lot of perks to working as a waiter, but there are a few disadvantages as well. One of the biggest is the lack of sick time. I can't call in sick and just expect to catch up tomorrow. There's no half days or paid time off. Calling in sick not only means I screw over my coworkers by leaving a hole in the roster, it also means I don't make any money - money I probably need for things like medicine and reassuing comfort foods or massive quantities of drugs to drown my sickly sorrows in. Calling in sick usually involves finding your own replacement. It's ok to be sick or have something come up as long as you get the shift covered, which is not always an easy thing to do. So, not wanting to deal with the three ring circus that is calling in sick, I took one for the team and donned my apron for another night of wacky antics and delicious steaks.

I'll share with you the highlight from my all star cast of diners this evening...
The trio of business associates - one gentleman and two ladies. They had very important matters to discuss. In fact everything was so important it was such a hassle to be interruped by the waiter to do tedious things like order food and drink. Thankfully though, I was able to make them laugh and thus my intrusions were forgiven. The meal ran smoothly, the meeting came to an end and it was time to pay the check. The lone male reached quickly for it as I brought it to the table and said, "I'll take care of that," as he slipped his mastercard into the book. Now, I've come to associate credit levels with the design on the card. If the card is a solid, unatractive color, I usally cross my fingers that there will be enough left over for a tip. But for some reason I didn't think anything of his beige mastercard with the hideous diamonds on it (I'm curious if other servers will agree with this - but I also suspect that shady credit unions go hand in hand with hideous logos. Check out your own card - you know what kind of credit you have - does your card match?) The card was declined...six times...on three computers. Great. I printed a receipt that said declined, circled this, and brought it back in the book, saying, "I'll be back with you in one moment," as I discreetly pointed out the declined receipt to our pick up the tab hero.

Great discussion ensued at the table that involved pointing at me several times and a lot of checkng through walets and head shaking. After a minute or two of this I returned to the table and picked up the book, now with another beige diamond faced card, this one bearing the name of one of the ladies at the table. "Sorry about that, this should be fine." "It's no trouble. I'll be back in a moment." I ran the new card and brought it back the table, wishing them a good night and thanking them for their business. Five minutes later I returned to the table to collect the receipt and my tip from the book. There, on their $124 tab was my tip...$0. Of course. It was my fault the credit card was declined and awkward moments ensued. My fault that he doesn't know how to manage his money and also feels compelled to impress his friends. And my fault that she got stuck paying for the meal. Of course it's the waiter's fault. I placed the receipt in my pocket and though about I just paid four dollars to wait on these people. Next time I'm calling in sick