Is this the only menu?

Recently a woman asked me, "Michael, is this the only menu? Because I don't want any of this." There are roughly 50 different things you can order off of our dinner menu, but apparantly none of these looked enticing to said woman. "Sorry mam," I replied, "but that's the only menu we have." "You don't have any smaller steaks or maybe some other salads?" "Honestly no, though I would be happy to help you with a recommendation or we can also make most items to order if you have a food alergy or special request." She thought about this for a moment, and then further committed herself to the interrogation. "Yes, that's nice. But I'd really like a 10oz new york strip." "We do have a 16oz new york mam. As well as a 10oz ribeye and an 8oz filet." "You're not listening to me! I said I want a 10oz new york!"



what?



No Madam, it is you who is not listening to me. This bizarre scenario is one that plays out on a near daily basis while waiting tables. There are those guests who seem to think that if they ask a question multiple times, slightly rephrasing it each time, that they will somehow trick the server into giving them the answer they want to hear. I think that I was eventually supposed to reply, "you know what...we do have a 10oz new york strip, I just remembered!" Or perhaps I was supposed to reward her for her tenacity by presenting her with the secret expanded menu we only offer to the most clever of guests. These guests are tricky. If I take the bait and begin to argue I can usually say goodbye to a portion of my tip. I also have the option of giving in to whatever the outrageous request might, thus inviting the anger and disdain of the kitchen. What I want to say is, "no mam, there is no other menu. There are no other steaks and we will not be making you any special requests tonight because we have no reason to do so." Instead I politely offer a variety of my favorite dishes with the assurance that if they are not to her liking I will be more than happy to ask my manager to comp the dish accordingly. Suprisingly enough seeking out the "secret menu" usually goes hand in hand with a great love for comps and free meals.



Please do not ask us the same question eight times. And please do not expect us to cook a dish the way you cook it at home. If your meatloaf is so delicious perhaps you should have had your friends over to your house to eat it. And if you don't like steak than don't go out to eat at a steakhouse. Apply common sense to your dining out choices. Most restaurants now have their menu online. Do a little research before eating out - choose a restaurant that comfortably fits your price range and one that offers a variety of choices to your liking. And please try to remember that your server did not write the menu and he does not cook your food. He serves it you.